GUILTY PLEASURE - Chapter 12

[Guilty Pleasure – Chapter 12]

Ga In came home from the bar feeling dejected. The meeting with Lizzy that afternoon made her felt bad and detests herself. She was still blaming herself for stepping into other people’s relationship but what is done cannot be undone. She can’t erase the fact that she has spent a night with Jo Kwon.

She put away her bag and took off her high heels. She slouched over at the couch and felt her best friend aka loneliness crept up towards her again. She looked around the empty house and feels awfully terrible on the inside. She walked over to the bar counter and grabbed a bottle of liquor before sitting back to the couch again.

As she sips the mouthful of liquor she remember the night she has spent with Jo Kwon. She looked over to the bedroom and images of Jo Kwon caringly took care of her filled up her mind. Then she looked over to kitchen and remembers Jo Kwon arranging her pathetic kitchen. She still cannot forget the caring look Jo Kwon gave when he watches her eating the porridge her bought for her. Those memories were still vivid on her mind.

She cupped her face and tears started forming at the corner of her eyes.

[Flashback]

“Oppa, if I have done a grave mistake what should I do?”

“Ga In-ah, what is it?”

“I have taken the wrong step and would cause misery to other people…”

“I know you’re not bad person…Just do what your heart thinks that it’s right…”

“My heart…? My heart wants to stop becoming the cause of others’ misery…”

“So be it...And you know whatever you do in the future; I am always by your side to support you.”

[End of Flashback]

No, this is not how it’s going to be…Loving someone does not mean that I need to keep him by my side…

Slowly, she reached for her phone from her bag and took out her phone. She typed a message and quickly sends it. Soon she dozed off on the couch.

*

He looked at both messages. He was undecided to open which one first. Finally he opened up Lizzy’s message first before opening Ga In’s message.

Oppa, I got to finish up a proposal tonight. So I can’t see you as I promised ㅠㅠ – Young

Jo Kwon slightly felt relieved that Lizzy won’t be coming over as he didn’t know how to react when he sees her. Then quickly he opened the second message.

Let’s forget about yesterday. Let’s treat it like nothing happened. - Ga In

Jo Kwon was surprised and nervous at the message. How could he ever forget what happened yesterday? He was still guilty for not making any explanation over the incident yesterday. Nervously, he replied her message and quickly grabbed his car keys and head outside.

*

Jo Kwon reached the parking lot below her apartment. He got down of the car and slowly walked towards to the elevator.

Are you sure you’re doing this? You will be breaking her heart if you’re going to do this…

As he stepped in the elevator, he became more determined at his decision. He knocked at her door gently and waited for the door to open. When he felt weird for the host didn’t open up the door, he started to get worried and decided to enter the apartment himself. He punched the numbers and barged in.

When he entered he saw Ga In lying on the couch. He stepped closer to her and found that she was barely in her senses. He looked around and saw an empty bottle of liquor.

“Why are you drinking so much..?”

“W-Why are you here..?” Ga In was surprised to see Jo Kwon right in front of her eyes.

“Why are you doing these to yourself…?” He asked softly as he caressed her face.

Ga In just looked at him with her tearful eyes. Suddenly she plunged into his embrace and she cries her hearts out. Jo Kwon just sat there and hugs her tightly.

“I-I am s-sorry…” Ga In’s voice was barely audible with all the tears. Her voice was trembling with guilt.

“Don’t say sorry…I-I am the one should be saying sorry…”

Ga In then realized what she is doing. She lets go of Jo Kwon and pushed him away. “No...We’ve made a mistake once but we’re not gonna make that twice.” She said her piece as she got up from the couch.

“Now, you better leave this place.” Ga In pulls Jo Kwon up from his seat. Jo Kwon was easily pulled out from the couch because he didn’t know what to do.

“I AM JUST A VIXEN THAT DOES NOT DESERVE ANY SYMPATHY! CAN YOU PLEASE JUST RETURN TO LIZZY?!” Ga In was already wailing on top of her lung while trying to push Jo Kwon out of the door.

Suddenly Jo Kwon get hold her arms and shook her strongly.

“SON GA IN!!”

She stopped pushing and was stoned for a second from the shaking. Jo Kwon looked straight into her eyes. His eyes seem to be on fire.

“P-Please j-just go would you?!” Ga In sobbed in tears while looking away. She is too weak to handle all the mess. 

"I CARE FOR YOU NOT BECAUSE YOU NEED CARE BUT BECAUSE I WANT TO…I WANT TO STAY NOT BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TOO BUT BECAUSE I WANTED TO STAY!!” Jo Kwon looked at Ga In with eyes that could kill. He was breathing heavily. 

Ga In was just too stunned to react at his confession.

"And I love you..." Jo Kwon said softly all the while looking into her eyes.

"You're out of your mind.” Ga In said coldly while looking away. She’s afraid that she would just fall in deeper into the mess.

"I love you Son Ga In... Not because of who you are but because of what I feel..." He grabbed Ga In’s hand and led it to his chest. Ga In tried to retaliate but Jo Kwon tightens his grip. He pressed Ga In’s hand against his chest to feel his heart.

"I have been asking myself a lot of times what do I feel about you... And this heart gives me the same answer every time…”

"So please give me a chance to love you..." He paused. "Let me protect and care for you."

“You’ll be hurting Lizzy like this...” Ga In released her hand from Jo Kwon’s grip and walked away slowly.

“Do you think doing this would not be hurting me? Don’t I need to care for my own feelings??” Jo Kwon was already crying and he losing his stance. He sat down and hugged his knees.

Ga In heart broke when he sees Jo Kwon break down like this. Slowly, she knelt down and hugged Jo Kwon.

*

“Dear, why are you here? It’s so late already…” Jo Kwon’s mum opened the door after hearing the knock.

“Omoni…I was just wondering if Kwon oppa is feeling better now …” Lizzy said while peering into the house.

“Oh well, you came at the wrong time again. He’s out, you see. But just come in and wait okay?”

Lizzy smiled and she walked behind Jo Kwon’s mum and entered the house.

“If you want some drink you know where to find it.” Jo Kwon’s mum said with a smile before returning to her room. They have known each other very well so Jo Kwon’s mum didn’t really treat her like a guest. And she was always the sensible one for not poking into her son’s relationship matter.

Lizzy walked around the living room and saw Jo Kwon’s jacket lying on the couch. And of course, as usual she picks it up and immediately noticed scent coming off from the clothes. 

“This is a perfume scent is so similar…Where have I smell it before?”

She tried to recollect her memories about the scent because it was such a special scent even she herself was attracted towards the scent. Then something hit her mind.

“I think when I visit Perfect Match this afternoon…ahh it was from Ms Ga In.”

Ga In-sshi? Why would her perfume smell found on oppa’s clothes?

*

"W..what about Lizzy?" Ga In asked cautiously while snuggling into Jo Kwon’s embrace on the couch.

"I'll break off the engagement." Jo Kwon said while brushing Ga In’s hair lovingly.

"B-but...I feel bad for her..." Her voice trailed off.

"I am the jerk, so just leave the guilty part to me...I’ll deal with it even it cost my life. I really cannot continue the marriage when my heart is no longer there. I don’t want her to live with a man who already given his heart to someone else." Jo Kwon glances over to Ga In.

Forgive me, Young..

"She deserves a better man than me. Someone who really appreciates her and love her from the bottom of his heart." He continued.

"Don’t you love her?”  She felt her heart twitched a little when she asked that.

"I think I did... But I gradually lose the love feeling when I meet up with her. Maybe we grew up together and that’s why we thought we were meant for one another...It was, apparently until I met you…Thinking back, it was more like an oppa-dongsaeng love.”

"You know you made my heart beat so weirdly every time I see you.." He paused. "It has been a long time since I felt that..."

Ga In just smiled sweetly at his words and snuggled closer to him. She wasn’t sure whether what is their future, but what is very sure of is that she is just going to enjoy every moment spent with him.  

"I love you, Kwon."

***