Her Diary - Part 4

Part 4

Ji Hyo was flipping through some documents when there was a knock on the door. Before she could answer, the door swings open.

“Yuri? Why did you come back to the office?”

“We drove by after dinner and saw the lights are still on. So I bet you must be still here.”

“Yea, I am just going to finish up some stuff here…” Her eyes returned to the lengthy words on her desk. “You can just go back, I am fine here.” She gave a smile.

Yuri gave a sigh as she looked at her wristwatch “Unnie. It’s almost 7pm. Are you planning to stay here for the night?”

Ji Hyo looked up to the concerned Yuri. She let go of the pen that she was holding. “Well, I just don't feel like going home. I am going to face the empty walls only.”

“Are you really feeling fine?” Yuri walked beside Ji Hyo and made her looked at her.

Ji Hyo’s eyes quickly gave away. She knew what Yuri was talking about. “I really appreciate your concerns...but yea I am holding well. It’s just...”

“It’s just..?”

“I miss her so much today.”

Yuri sat down in front of her desk. She reached out for her hand and caress them. “Unnie....you have to let her go...if not you can try fighting for her. I know you told me..after she left, you guys never really talk it out...”

Ji Hyo nodded regretfully.

“Perhaps...give her a call. Tell her that you still misses her. Let her know that you still cares about her. If she has really moved on, so you must move on too. At least you have given your shot and tried your best. No point mopping over her. Life must go on. You need to have your own life.”

Ji Hyo listen attentively. Yes, Yuri is right. At least she must give her last shot. No point lingering over someone that has long moved on.

“Maybe I will send her a message.”

Yuri just smiled. “I hope you really do. You know I really see you like my big sister. I don’t wish to see you being alone and sad like this. You need happiness, and you deserve someone better. Someone that really willing to walk this path with you.”

*

“Hi...

It’s been a while...since we have contacted each other.. But I chose to write this letter to you. Hopefully it reaches you, to the right one. I hope you have not change your address. Maybe I am a coward that I chose to write to you instead of calling or messaging you. It’s just that I want to give myself more time, before getting an answer from you. 

I am not sure about you but things between us...I always feel that there’s no closure. You left so suddenly and I had no courage to go over to find you. It was partially my fault for leaving our relationship that way. The truth is, I still can’t get over you. I still misses the time we spent together, the night we spent cooking and playing a fool with each other. And I miss your coffee...I have stopped drinking them since. Are you still making them?

 You’re the one that really changed my life. You made me felt loved, cherished and gave me a purpose of striving hard to give us a family. You are all I needed.

 If it’s really the Hebe that I have loved and still do, please write back to me. At least I need an answer from you. No matter good or bad, I’ll accept it. I am still staying at the same place. 

I just want to know…have you ever loved me? Or was I just an experiment?

 I am waiting. 

JH” 

A drop of tears wets the letter. Hebe wiped away the tears of guilt that rolled down her cheeks. She quickly folds the letter away as her father steps into her room.

“What’s wrong, daughter? It’s dinner time.”

“I am not hungry, you guys go ahead.” Hebe replied coldly and hushed him out of the room.

Ever since her dad found out about her relationship with Ji Hyo few years ago, she has been acting cold towards her father. The family ties was estranged and quiet. Hebe always cooped up in her room after work, other than meal times.

Hebe closed the door hardly behind her. She quickly broke down into tears. All their wonderful sweet moments started flooding her mind. Ji Hyo’s laughter and mong face keep flashing her mind. She cried harder.

She realized how much she missed her. Truthfully, Hebe has not be with anyone ever since she came back from Korea. She just indulged herself in work, to keep her mind off Ji Hyo. Her mother kept introducing some bachelor to her, she just kept pushing them away. And through her perseverance, she has finally made name out of herself in the local café world as she opened her first café.

She cried herself to sleep that night.

*

It was ten in the morning when her mum knocked on the door. “Hebe! Still sleeping? Are you feeling okay?”

Usually by nine, Hebe would have made her way out of the house to prepare for the opening of the shop. It was little weird that her room was quiet.

“Yesterday I saw her crying in her room.”

“What?! And now you’re only saying it?” Hebe’s worried mum frantically looking for the room key in the kitchen.

When they opened the door, they were surprised to see an empty room. “She’s not home?”

“Perhaps she went out earlier today.”

They noticed a piece of paper on the dressing table.”

“I have closed the shop for a week. Please don’t look for me. I have made a decision, to look for my other happiness.”

Hebe’s mum hand trembled as she read the letter. “She went away…to look for her...”

*

She sat at in the departure hall, staring blankly with her hand clutching tight on her letter. Her mind floated away.

[Flashback]

“Hey babe...How’s class today?”

Ji Hyo greeted Hebe who just walked into the house. She gave her a tight hug around her neck. Hebe briefly smiled and hugged back.

Ji Hyo could sense something wrong and was about to break off the hug but was stopped by Hebe. “Can we just stay like this for a while?” She said softly.

JI Hyo’s heart twitch hearing her said that. “What happen babe?” She raised her hand and brush her head slightly. “Take your time to talk it out...”

Hebe tighten her hug around Ji Hyo’s waist. “My dad....”

Ji Hyo’s heart sank. “He knew about us?”

Hebe nodded.

“He saw us...that day in Myeongdong street.”

Ji Hyo’s heart sank further as she tightens the grip around Hebe. She expected this and always thought she is prepared but the moment it came, she never knew that it felt like her world came crushing down.

“It’s okay, as long as we are in this together. Don’t worry I am here with you.”

She planted a soft kiss on her side of her head.

“We won’t be separated right?” Hebe said softly.

“I will not leave you until you leave me.”

[End of Flashback]

It was how it started. On the day after their Myeongdong date, Hebe went home to visit her father. She came home with her father sitting in the living room. It was unusual to see him sitting quietly, as usually he’ll be either watching the television or making dinner.  

[Flashback]

“Dad how are you?” Hebe chirped as she entered the house. “How’s your day?”

“I saw you today in Myeongdong?”

“Oh y-you did?”

“Yes, I had some errand to do around that area, so I passed by Myeongdong.”

“Oh...have you eaten dinner?”

“Are you dating someone?”

“E-eh? N-No I didn’t. T-that was just my friend. Her name is Ji Hyo. I’ll bring her over for a dinner one day.”

“Do you behave so intimately with your friend in the public?”

“Dad you’re thinking too much. We are just very good friends. We always go out for shopping.”

“Am I?”

“You haven’t eaten right? Me neither. I-I will prepare dinner for us. Please wait a while.” She said and went into the kitchen, ignoring his father’s question.

“You know our Chinese tradition can’t accept things that’s unusual right?” He said suddenly.

Hebe stopped working at the bunch of tomatoes.

“Dad, what are you trying to say?”

“You heard me. You can stop making dinner. I don’t feel well. I am going to rest now.” Hebe’s dad finished his words with a loud thud of the closing of his bedroom door.

Hebe just stood there, shocked with his dad’s word.

***